Of Emo teens and slashed wrists

Parents, beware the emo kids
Section:
Home
By:
SANDRA DAVIE
Publication:
The Straits Times 19/03/2007
Page:
H2
No. of words:
659
In following angsty fad, teens cut themselves and write about suicide BY SANDRA DAVIE EDUCATION CORRESPONDENTIF YOU have teenage kids and have not heard of the latest teen fad "emo", it is time you looked it up.Shops catering to teens say this angst-filled youth sub-culture, called emo, short for "emotional", has been gathering a following here.It has also left youth counsellors worried if the fad is behind the increasing incidence of teenagers cutting their wrists.Emo fashion is characterised by teens wearing dark T-shirts, a little undersized or deliberately worn down to look old.Their choice of sneakers is Converse canvas shoes. Look closer and these might have words like "pain'' scribbled in red ink or a drawing of a broken heart.But the defining trademark for emo kids has to be the heavily lined eyes and long fringed hair which covers half their face.The point of that, said emo teen Mervyn Lee, 17, a polytechnic student, is because "we are tortured souls unable to face the world".Another tell-tale sign – they listen to angst-filled music from bands like Hawthorne Heights, Aiden, The Used, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, which performed here earlier this month.Youth counsellors interviewed say they are worried that the fad, carried to extremes, can lead to self-mutilation or even suicidal thoughts.As it is, some emo teens have penned poems about suicide and death and slashing their wrists to "ease their pain''.The trend may be behind the increased incidence of teenagers injuring themselves.There have been no studies done on how prevalent self-injury is, but five youth counsellors interviewed said they have seen an alarming increase in their young charges cutting themselves.Anecdotally, it seems more common among girls, and they are getting younger.Just last month, The Straits Times reported that a group of 12-year-olds in an all-girls primary school made a collective pact and slashed their arms with penknives. The incident came to light after teachers discovered the scars the next morning. The girls were counselled and are being monitored.Said Dr Carol Balhetchet, Singapore Children's Society director of youth services: "It is okay for kids to follow a fashion. That is very normal. What is worrying is if they start blindly following the other things like cutting themselves and writing poems glorifying their suicide attempts.''Eight of 12 teens The Straits Times spoke to, who follow emo fashion, admitted as much.One, an 18-year-old girl from a junior college, said she started cutting herself out of curiosity after listening to songs by an emo rock band.She said she now does it weekly, but hides the scars from her doctor father and accountant mum.Another emo teen, an 18-year-old polytechnic boy, said it is part of the fashion."It's a form of expression, just like the poems I write. I will go mad if I can't, don't have these forms of release,'' he said.What is surprising is that most of these angst-filled teens come from stable homes, where their parents are professionals.When pressed, they admitted there were no issues that were really depressing.Parents seem clueless. One, Mrs Daisy Lim, 48, a businesswoman, said she had heard her daughter using the word "emo" but never realised it was a teen fad.Her 16-year-old daughter wears under-sized, worn-out tees over tight black jeans. On weekends, the Secondary 4 girl also wears two lip rings and six earrings on one ear alone.Mrs Lim recently discovered that her daughter cuts her wrists with a razor. She is trying to get her to seek help.But counsellors say parents should not overreact.Said Dr Balhetchet: "They should talk to the kids to find out the extent of it."If the child has taken the fad to the extent of harming himself, they should not panic and scream at the child. They should be open to listening him out."Then they will find it easier to persuade him to seek counselling
help.''sandra@sph.com.sg

My feelings after reading this article are mixed. Emo is of course no stranger to all of the teenagers around town. This article talks about how current teenagers are carrying their angst so far that they even slash themselves to let their rage loose. This is really something that disturbs me. As in, listening to emo songs, dressing emo, all of these are fine and quite common amongst many of us. Yet to actually cut your wrists with a razor, knife, etc, that really scares me. Though not all teenagers may be like that, yet I feel that this issue on emo teens is a very important one in our society.
Our current society is one which is very stressful, studying everyday, going out of the house early in the morning and returning home at night. Who would not feel stressed. Couple that with the increasing teenage angst, and you get an emo teen. Most people think of these people as punks, wandering around doing nothing much. Yet these punks you see dressed emo-ishly are only the tip of the iceberg of the reaches of emo. The most frightening ones are those who hide at home, with nowhere to release their emotions, take to slashing their wrists. These are the true victims of the emo culture. Many songs talk about slitting wrists, ending your life to be free from all the pain and suffering. Though these are just metaphorical, and used to express feelings, some teenagers may actually want to try it out, like those the article above mentioned.
Of course, not every emo teen cuts themself. Some use poetry, going out with friends, sports, gaming to release their stress. I am also not condemning being emo. It is true that it is a trend nowadays, and many people are hooking onto it. However, taking it to the exteme is really too much. The most alarming thing is that those who cut their wrists are not those with broken families, or school dropouts. They are good students with professional parents.
This leads to my conclusion that families are the ones that cause such an increase in self inflicted injuries. Though many may argue that having parents who draw a high income and being able to buy anything you want is good, I disagree. What an angsty teen really needs is the love of his family, even if it comes in scoldings, or naggings. This is especially true in Singapore. With all the mommies and daddies going out to work early and coming back late, it's no wonder they have no time for their children. Without their parents guidance, these children naturally stray from the right path.
Though I sympathize with those who actually slash their wrists, truthfully, I think that it is a stupid thing to get hooked onto. Drugs let you get high, gaming, though ruining your life still gives you some excitement, but what does wrist slashing do? All you get is pain. I can though, give a reason for all this, the want of attention. Though it is still a stupid way of gaining your parents attention.
Being emo is fine and cool, but slashing your wrists is just plain stupid. I feel that if you cannot control yourself, then why start in the first place. Though your parents may not have time to spend with you, surely there are many other ways to get their attention? Furthermore, you yourself are a teenager already, for goodness sake have some common sense. Even those people with broken families are taking it in their stride, how could someone in a good family do such a thing?